Talking Turkey

My neighborhood has a flock of turkeys.  My. Neighborhood. Has. A. Flock. Of. Turkeys.  This is a sentence I never thought I’d utter, write or even think.  So, turkeys in the middle of the Tulsa Metro, weird, but not that weird.  What if one of them were impaled with an arrow?  An. Arrow.

While I know many hunters, and have enjoyed the bounty of their hard work, I can’t bear to see an animal suffer unnecessarily. However, I have no idea what to do about a turkey shot with an arrow.  Who do you call about a turkey?

Dad.  I called my dad.  Of course, he was no help whatsoever.  His suggestion involved No. 4 birdshot.  I thought maybe it would just die on its own, but I saw the darned thing again…and again.  It didn’t look injured…except for the freaking arrow going through its body.  My conscience (and my mother) wouldn’t let me stop there, so I called my vet.

They’d be happy to treat the turkey…if I caught it.  How do you catch a turkey?  Have you seen a wild turkey?  They’re not cuddly creatures!

wild-turkey-1665326_1280

Wild Turkey via Pixabay

So, I called the SPCA.  The gentleman expressed such gratitude I cared about the animal, and he would be happy to give me treatment options…if I caught the turkey.

The wild life refuge rehabilitates and re-homes animals when they’re well. They’d be happy to treat the turkey as well…if I brought it in.

At this point I’m getting a bit excited. Who knows how to catch a turkey?  I don’t!  Does anyone have a suggestion?

“Well, this is a multi-person job,” the helpful refuge personnel informed me.  “I’ve got the numbers for a couple of companies you can pay to help you catch the turkey.”

Pay to…does anyone else realize this is not my turkey?  I just don’t want the animal to suffer needlessly.  Catch a turkey?  What the hell would I do with it when I caught it?  Load the “docile” animal in my Hyundai and trek down to the wildlife refuge?  Are you kidding me?

However, my colleague upon hearing my plight offered an excellent suggestion.  I should lasso the turkey…Lasso. The. Turkey.

Okay, so setting aside the fact this is…a turkey.  What on God’s green Earth makes anyone think I a) am in possession of a LASSO b) would in any way shape or form be able to LASSO A TURKEY?

Fortunately, she was able to demonstrate the lassoing motion…along with a handy gallop. Because apparently, I would be riding a stick pony while wielding my lasso.

Of course, this was not the only suggestion offered up in my quest to capture the…turkey. Calling Channel 2 came up surprisingly often.  Although I’m not sure what a news crew could do.  I suppose that is a multi-person effort.

My mother helpfully suggested shooting the animal with a tranquilizer dart.  Fortunately, I keep the dart gun stored next to my LASSO.  It is so much more convenient than storing them separately.

She also suggested a blow gun…that suggestion came complete with sound effects. Seriously, I’m not even going there.

turkey-1084222_1920

Turkey via Pixabay

The placement of the arrow came up several times, but let me be clear.  The only time I’d been in the presence of a whole turkey was at Thanksgiving dinner.  The vantage point was just a little different.  I can be pretty certain the arrow didn’t damage the drumstick though.

 

The fate of the turkey?  I have no idea.  It seemed content to be pecking away in my neighbor’s yard the last time I saw it.  In the end, I hung up the phone and poured a drink. There’s no Wild Turkey in my house, so it was a Jameson’s.

‘Til next time,

Jessica

P.S. No, it is not turkey season.  Yes, hunting is illegal within the city limits.  I did get confirmation that a few geese have also been shot with arrows.  The SPCA’s opinion is that this is not hunting for food.  This is target practice and sport.  Just in case you’re a little foggy.  Maiming animals is NOT okay.  In my opinion, hunting for anything other than food is NOT okay.  Don’t be a jackass.

 


Best 40 Minutes of Your Week

tashi-and-the-monkEvery once in a while, I stumble across something wonderful in the course of my classwork.  This time, it was a documentary from Pilgrim Films about a Buddhist monk who started a home for unwanted children.  Tashi and the Monk is filled with the sound of children laughing, playing, learning and healing.  I rejoiced in the happiness of 85 formerly unwanted and unloved children who found a family, a home, and a steadfast father figure who dedicates himself to making sure they have the childhood he never got.  Easily the best 40min you’ll spend this week.

‘Til next time,

Jessica

P.S. Did I mention Tashi and the Monk won an Emmy for Outstanding Short Documentary in 2016?


Have a Holly Jolly…Whatever

The holiday season is here.  Not fast approaching.  Not on its way. Brace yourself, it has arrived.  Whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanza or Festivus, this time of year becomes a hectic mesh of holiday gatherings with family, friends and co-workers.  For all the frivolity, to be honest, it stresses me out.  All the cooking, baking, gift buying, wrapping, parties…when are you supposed to get a chance to relax and actually enjoy it?

My favorite part of the season is the decorating bit.  Not necessarily because it puts me in a celebratory frame of mind, but because my decorations are filled with memories.  Places I’ve been, people I love, and even mistakes I’ve made, are all hung on an evergreen with warm lights, twinkling in the dark. Here are a few of my favorite memories from my parents tree.

I hope you enjoy them.

‘Til next time,

Jessica


Its All In the Details…

Koi by Jessica Thompson

Koi by Jessica Thompson

The Exposition

The week after a holiday at a bank is always a little rough. When you toss in a significant reduction in staff due to…life and things, and the maelstrom of chaos that ensues is enough cause a wee bit of gray matter to leak from the ears. You know your brain is mush when you read your class assignment…several times, and still misread, we’ll just say significant portions of said assignment…significant portions.

Rising Action

 

Logo by Jessica Thompson

Logo by Jessica Thompson

At least I made it a policy to review the assignments one last time before I finalize formats and submit my work. Whew! So instead of needing to complete three small sketches, I need to do six other things. Create clip art, Photoshop masks, logos, or some combination. Fortunately, they don’t need to be completed, just in process. I don’t think tea is going to cut it tonight. Note to self, coffee actually makes me vibrate. Everything gets started, compiled, and the video is completed. Adobe Spark videos are pretty cool, I’m going to have to play with that some more. I breathe a sign of relief, because it is all finished.

The Climax

Kermit by Jessica Thompson

Kermit by Jessica Thompson

…in time for the internet to crash mid-upload (which is why, girls and boys you never wait until the last minute). Expletive deleted, expletive deleted.  You know, because starting an upload 10 minutes before the deadline isn’t stressful enough as it is. Expletive deleted, expletive deleted, expletive deleted.

Falling Action

Don’t panic!

jimsconeyisland

Logo by Jessica Thompson

The assignment is uploaded, the video is posted, the timesheet is completed. That’s 10% of the course grade right there. It got submitted, one minute before the deadline, but that’s still on time. The discussion post…that got posted ten minutes late (stupid, beautiful, internet we have a love/hate relationship), not cool, but only 2%.

Resolution

The perfectionist in me rails at the lateness, my inattention to detail, the threat (though minor) to my GPA, but on the whole I’m just trying to figure out if an adult beverage will help me stop the caffeine fueled vibrating so I can sleep or just change the frequency.

‘Til next time,

Jessica

P.S. Whiskey changes the frequency of the vibrations, dogs don’t care that you didn’t get any sleep, but at least I got pancakes for breakfast.


Don’t Do It Halfway

livsnjutareDo you know anyone like this?  I do.  I admire them.  Everyone I’ve met who loves life deeply exudes passion for…all the things.  A life filled with passion is a great thing.

‘Til next time,

Jessica


How Do You Process Your Thoughts?

babelismI tend to process complicated things out loud.  Whether those are emotions, concepts, plans, whatever, I need to talk it out.  Responses are generally not necessary because what pours out of my mouth is a confusions of ideas, speech, and thought.  Once I sift through the rubble, I have a cohesive…something.

In this respect, I can relate to Sherlock Holmes and the skull.  I have been known to talk to the dog.  Dexter isn’t the best conversationalist, but he’s an excellent listener.

‘Til next time,

Jessica


I Can Relate

abibliophobiaEvery time I head out on a trip, I begin to get anxious unless I’ve packed a book for every day I’m going to be away.  I’m not talking comic books here.  These are novels.  They’re heavy.  They take up massive amounts of space.  There’s always a nagging feeling I’ve forgotten something unless I have them.

‘Til next time,

Jessica


Exploring the Strange and Marvelous

selcouthI like exploring the unfamiliar, rare and strange.  It almost always turns out to be marvelous.  Every time I uncover a gem of knowledge and get to polish and shine until it becomes part of my collection, it makes me happy.

‘Til next time,

Jessica


Retail Therapy

oniochalasiaOh, oniochalasia, I know you well.  Otherwise known as I’m-having-a-bad-day-I-need-pineapple-shoes.  Not always the best way of coping with the vagaries of life, but surprisingly effective.

Life lesson – don’t use credit for retail therapy.  You require more retail therapy when the bill comes due!

‘Til next time,

Jessica


Stormborn

louringGame of Thrones is seriously affecting my view of the world.  I saw this definition, and I think of storms, stormborn…you can guess the rest.

‘Til next time,

Jessica