When I came back from Boston, I had a pretty big shock. I lost my job. This wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Lately, I’d discovered I’d been yearning for quitting time and not putting my all into my job, and that’s just not who I am. My big revelation of the amazing opportunity I’m presented with, came from the fact that I’ve slept better now than I have in months, and while there’s a lot of uncertainty in my life now, I’m honestly happier than I have been in a while. Normally, Pharrell Williams’s Happy wouldn’t go along with unemployment, but we all know that “normal” isn’t applied to me often (if at all).
So, now I’m on this journey to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. It should be obvious to anyone who’s read about my obsession with Legos, fascination with comic books, or Young Adult Fiction that “growing up” really isn’t something I aspire to do. What I have discovered is that I am throwing myself into this job search with all the enthusiasm I didn’t have for my job in the end.
Also, self-control isn’t one of my strong suits and while I knew the job search is unquestionably necessary, I’ve allowed that to take over my brain. Netflix and Assassins’ Creed are awfully tempting after a long day of doing all the boring things that a job search entails, especially when you’re trying to avoid telling all your readers that you are…exploring new professional opportunities. It didn’t occur to me that blogging had become necessary too. As last week wore on, it became harder and harder to focus on the things I knew had to be done, because I needed to get words on the page/screen/napkin.
This is my apology to you and to myself. I shouldn’t have forgotten about doing the things I really enjoy, and I shouldn’t have felt like I needed to atone for some massive wrongdoing by denying myself the things that make me who I am. (I also haven’t picked up a book since I lost my job.) A good friend reminded me that you cannot search for a job eight hours a day, seven days a week. You’ll go insane.
My promise is this. A post will go up every day Monday through Friday. Bear with me if some of them are not up to my usual, but I’m trying to pull my head out. I will never find a job I really enjoy if I keep myself from the things I enjoy. Hell, it took a long time to begin to figure myself out, and I don’t want to forget that all because I’m not working for the first time since I was 16 years old.
To keep myself from becoming incredibly lazy (or just playing through all the Assassins’ Creed games before I get a new job), I’m job searching in the morning and in the afternoon I’m writing, finishing projects around the house, cleaning out…everything and maybe a little Netflix or gaming. (well, except this morning, because the lawn has to be mowed before it rains again. Send up some good thoughts that my mower and I can make it through the jungle.)
‘Til next time,